Jerry, you need to find god
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
