did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize