We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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