dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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