the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Watching her eat just hurts me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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