She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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