there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
