Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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