I'm really into asian looking animals
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
