i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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