i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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