so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
