if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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