Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
