Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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