I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
