we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize