I smell stomach acid.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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