the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
