so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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