I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
