then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
