At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
