Jerry, you need to find god
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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