I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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