i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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