She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its not stalking. its research.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
