I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
