It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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