a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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