I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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