haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
