I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
