Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
