i think i have herpe
just one?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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