She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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