Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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