I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize