i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
