Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
