Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ok first of all what the fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
