Me too!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this is an emotional support booty call
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize