I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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