Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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