Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
