lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the day after is always just damage control
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize