I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
