Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
