Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
