he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
