are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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