I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Come see our sink grown plant.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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