I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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