So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
