I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The best revenge is premature balding
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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