It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
