Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
