I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
