You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
