Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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