He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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