ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize