Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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