he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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