you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
