your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
