His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Green mimosas i think yes
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
