it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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