Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Bring me that man meat
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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