so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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