Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
