Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will be naked everywhere
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
