It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
