I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
