apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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