We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Panties = found
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