Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
